To be heartless... or full of heart...

Why is it that people who cross paths with us are never as we make them out to be in the first instance...? Like how much anger and pain does it take any human being to become heartless and ruthless person?

I've been hurt, one too many times, yet when an opportunity arises to love, I love completely and not selfishly. But then you find people who place guards up to protect their heart, in order never to be hurt again by the opposite sex. Whats-up with that though?

Yes, so people can hurt you over and over and over again, thereby breaking your heart, but think of all the love you are able to receive if you just allow yourself to feel again? The best feeling in life is that robust of warmth in your heart, knowing someone out there really cares and loves you for who you are, and doesn't judge or need status to complete what you share as individuals.

But here's the glitch... what if the person is too scared allow himself to love again whole heartedly, then you in return, are faced with a cold heartless person, who puts up their guards when they feel like love is starting to consume them? Then, the one who is releasing all the love one could possibly wish for, will possibly hurt more than the heartless person... so are heartless people then out there just to hurt and be selfish? And is it a safer detour just to be heartless, therefore know feelings could ever really, honesty, truely develop?

I don't know, you figure it out, because I'm still figuring that one out.

I am who I am, and I am full of love, and will continue to spread my unconditional love to the world!

Until next time

Chow Bella :)

Do you ever really forget????

The whole creation of life and being on earth can be very complicated and construed sometimes, especially the part of experiencing heart-ache and pain and wondering if you'll ever get over it.

I'm writing this because I don't know how to reach out to someone who has once consumed my heart completely. I've realised that life has to go on and that broken promises are not worth waiting on. Now that its over, he's life is falling apart and here I'm still standing and feeling completely guilty and responsible for his life.

Heart-ache is the Mutha- Fusher, but the only way to heal from it is to reside and feel what needs to be felt, experience each heart broken- ness and grow from it.

I've come to realise sometimes that we have to make the crudest decisions in life, even though it was never the intention of hurting someone else, because we all have paths we are destined for and by allowing people to hold you back from it is just unhealthy.

This is my wish and prayer to you: I hope that you can find it your heart some day to forgive me for hurting you this way, but know that it was done out of pure and good reason and nothing else. All I ever wanted for you was to be the best that you could be, and now that I'm gone, you seem to have no hope inside of you. I pray that your guardian angels and Arch-angel Micheal will help and guide you in the right path, now that I'm not there anymore.

Remember that what we've shared, it will always be there, never to be forgotten, a remembrance of the good times and not the bad, but I think its time we move on and see where that pot of gold is waiting for us?

I wish you the best for your future endeavours and hope that you will come back onto the right path soon.

Until next time... Ciao Bella

The Best moments in life are free.

1 February 2011@ 11.45pm

It’s the things that reside closest to our hearts that are most memorable, unforgettable, laughable and most importantly cherish-able. These are the moments in our life when we share memories and ideas with the people dear and closest to you, or just random people who brighten your day.

With that said, all the things that make us happy comes form within, and not money or wealth could necessarily fill those gaps when it comes to happiness.

SO what is my point to all of this, well I had one of those crazy- mad- hilarious -fun and entertaining night with a dear friend that’s close to me. This was one of those nights where anything and everything that could possibly go wrong… went wrong!!! But it was all fun and laughs, until he dropped me off at home and his car wouldn’t start. Well, I didn’t quite know this until I was almost in my house…

I was just about to close my front door, and suddenly, I hear this jerking sound and if I’m not mistaken, the ignition of a car going off but not hearing any car starting up. Then I realized that it was my friend whose car wouldn’t start.

One thing you have to understand is that I stay in a close, meaning there are houses all around the road, hence close proximity to noise would or could awake me fellow neighbors. But let’s cut to the chase… due to the watch dogs in my road, they were not very familiar with a new person in funny car, therefore began to bark, and like wild fire, they awoke the rest of the neighborhood dogs… people, you cannot even begin to fathom the craziness that was taking place in my road …lovl.. and this early hours of the morning.

So picture this: a guy pushing his car back and fourth then hopping back into his car and start it up lol. Arrr, I know… I felt bad, and then eventually I rocked up and decided to pitch in. Just to add to the scandal as he jumped out of his car… Wham Bam*%$^#@R$%^%^.. Kaaa-baaah- knocks his head on the sharp edge of the door.. EINA!!!! I couldn’t help myself but to burst out laughing.

Anyway, then he went along giving me instructions how to start up the car and me trying to comprehend all of this at 2.00am the morning. My tummy was literally in stitches but what I enjoyed most that we eventually got the car started, worked as a team and had no hard feelings. There was no Ego tripping or name calling because you were either too stupid or dump to comprehend, it was just making the most of the situation and what a better way that through laughter and smiles. I laughed, he laughed, we made a spectacle, but what the heck, that’s what makes my life that interesting and entertaining at the end of the day.

To conclude my story, I wouldn’t trade a memory like last night for something material, because material things are there to use and once they’ve served there purpose you throw them away and find a replacement; whereas moments and memories are constant reminders of things that make us both happy and sad, but the happy ones are the best ones.

I know this was a long one, but I hope I have inspired you to always cherish the fun and priceless moments in life.

Until I next time… Chow Bella :)

Mish.Dish

People and their EGO's...

In life we all have needs and satisfactions we would like to satisfy some or other time, but sometimes we tend to run away with our thoughts and feelings and when you look again, its your ego talking to yourself without you even being aware of it. In my past experience, I have come across people who always seek to blame someone else for their short comings, but that in fact was just their ego speaking to them. I’m still young and learning every day, and today I learned that if you seek some satisfaction from someone else and expect them to fulfil, deep down you are not complete within yourself. Their appears to be hidden cracks that we are not aware of until we look at the situation from a different point of view, this is when we will notice how selfish it is of us to have expectations of other people when we ourselves cannot complete or satisfy our inner expectations.

I have managed to identify with the following pointers that assist me in not allowing my Ego to control my thoughts and my actions:

1 Your Ego seeks to control
When you are always rolling the ball in the game and not allowing someone else a chance to roll the ball, it’s your Ego busy intervening. A good example would be being in a relationship where you are always making decisions in the relationship and never have a compromise, because according to you, it satisfies you inner Ego which is wrong because a relationship is all about compromising and giving each other equal rights to make decisions. It’s the same when you swap the scenario around by just accepting things and allowing the partner to make all the choices, and that is unhealthy in my opinion.

2 – Your Ego seeks approval
This is when you become needy and try to feed off people’s energies and constantly need reassurance of being loved and taken care of. Once again this is your ego talking to you. Instead, you should try and identify your weaknesses and seek ways to overcome whereby you satisfy yourself. That way, you are not seen as a needy person who can’t stand for him or herself and constantly need people to reassure their love for you.

3- Your Ego seeks to judge
This is a very common characteristic we as individuals attain when we meet people for the first time. We judge them, but often our judgement about them are wrong because we don’t really know that person, so who are we to judge? We judge for many reasons like protection of the self, and your Ego when we think we a better than others, when we all fall under the same description... human beings.

4- Pride
One’s pride is like playing with fire. One minute you are poor, the next you become very wealthy and forget where you actually come from. Your pride kicks in and you begin to look down upon poor people and forget that you were once their too, but you brain wash yourself into thinking you were never really poor. I won’t lie but I never liked to associate myself with Afrikaans children at my school because I thought they were wild children and had no sense of value and norms. But I was proved wrong when we went on our prefect camp and I saw students who were shared the exact same goals and passions, and from that day onwards I don’t try and judge someone immediately.

All these characteristics form apart of who we are, its just a matter of being aware and controlling your ego surges, and try to fill any emptiness inside of you with happiness and laughter.

Until next time.. Chow Bela 