As tough as it may seem at times, new beginnings is always a positive way to turn your life around and make it worth every second.
From a 4 year long term relationship, to broken relationships, to long distant non - workable relationships, I find myself in limbo land wondering where to from here on out...?
It's weird how we tend to give too much of ourselves so quickly, hoping its what was set out or meant to be for us, only to realise half way through the journey that it was all just a hoax. That's probably the biggest part of the heartache and one of many bigger life lessons learnt in the process.
The question that always remains after the big term 'ITS OVER NOW' is where to from here. Your mind is puzzled and all fuzzled with decisions spiralling out of control like a roller coaster ride that has no ending. You think to yourself what is it that went wrong, when in actual fact it was never you to begin with.
To simplify: It's like a preacher that comes to you and bestows all these blessings and wishes upon your life promising life to be perfect and full of prospering growth - but in the end not even half of these wishes are fulfilled, because they just wanted to get you into a space of where they were, and live their dream of holliness. That is their dream, and might not be yours at all, but they make you think it's what's best for you at the time...
I'm not saying its wrong, but its always the way in which you bestow or say things to another person that allows you to think everything will be fine and perfect and happy ever after, and forget we are all individuals and all have a different perspective of life.
Same with men - they sculpt a picture that looks all happy and happy and more happiness, only to find out in the end it was in their best interest for you to assist them in fulfilling their dream, and you were just a prop at the time to satisfy that fantasy or dream.
U think you never ever learn, but you do, even it takes you ten times to make the same mistake, you do realise it eventually and become the better and stronger person. Take the good and bad that came from your experience.
Today I begin a new chapter in my life, and reflect upon 2011 and what it has taught me about living my life for me, and not for the next person. Sounds selfish hey.. I know but in this day and age, you and only you hold the keys to your complete happiness. If you happy from within, you don't need anyone else to please you. A companion is always wonderful, but remember he can't always make you happy, but ultimately its up to you to discover that inner core of happiness that shines from within!
I hope this made you feel stronger.
Have an awesome Monday my sisters and misters,
Ciao Bella :)
Mish Dish