Forget me not...

Ever been in a fix where you forgot belongings of yours at people’s places, be it at a friend, a lover from another mother, your in laws, that dude you never want to see again… or just some random person you met the same night? To words from the Dish… BAD HABIT!

I was always in denial of this dangerous factor, but then it started following me, leaving ripple effects at different places, that breaded a different face and maybe a race in my case lol. Urrrgh.. And as much as I try, I always seem to leave some form of evidence of me behind… Demmital (DAM!)

Some might think I do it out of purpose, when actually it’s done unknowingly – Yes I’m speaking to you all who think I did it out of motive, when there was no motive to play in the first stance. And how did I discover this bad habit of mine… hmmm, well... let’s start at the very beginning... when I had just met my ex…perfect example.

Right, lets see, it was the night of my birthday, 02 June, 2007… or no, coming to think of it, it occurred three months prior when he dropped me off at my friend Wendy’s place (and I don’t even think we were official as yet). The first piece of evidence I left in his car, the most important thing you just never leave behind… your phone. Oh boy, was that a saga of embarrassment, whilst my mates giggled there asses off… yes Wendy and Xanthe`… ai ya ne, but it was funny… to us that is.

My BF (just a friend at the time) found it quite amusing, and was convinced I only did it because I wanted him to see him again hahahah like really now… and that’s where it all started.

From there on out, he always made sure that whenever I stepped out of his car, he would double check and ensure I wouldn’t forget anything in his car lol… tis was actually sweet and cute of him, but a habit I needed to buckle and fix, without his help.

Five years later I find myself committing the habbit again not too long ago, only to find myself acting like a rabbit in aid of getting my things back. Well actually I felt more be-barassed (embarrassed) for leaving traces behind of myself… which just shows I would never have made the perfect assassin even if I tried hehehe.

Back to the story at hand, so yes, there I was trying to establish the value of my belongings, whilst trying to make the individual understand it wasn’t done to lure him back (but so it seemed), but merely to have my belongings safely returned.

I guess deep down after the misplacements of my belongings, it became more of a strife and battle obtaining it, and that slight wonder if he still wanted to see me again (which at this stage, I had know clues). In the same instance, it began hindering my thoughts that should I receive my things, that this would indefinite be our last meeting.

Let’s cut to the chase, I eventually got my things, and I got to see him one last time… knowing that this is the end, even though hope for some miracle pinned me down for a split second. Why, maybe because I liked the dude lol, and although we had a fair discussion to why all of the above had occurred, my tupid mind still went pondering and wondering like a lost cat who cant find his way, but instead the cat returns, expecting the owner to appreciate him more… but that wasn’t the case.

Lesson for the day… never leave your belongings at locations where you are less likely to see it again, especially when it’s a situation where you are not meant to see each other again, because it becomes a bigger battle obtaining it from the time you forgot it there. Therefore always look up, down, left and right and most importantly do a 360 degree circumference walk about around the area you occupied, to ensure you have all your things.

That’s all for today… hope I put a tinge of a grin on your faces today :)Happy Sunday.

We came from two different worlds…

 Has life ever thrown you a curve ball that questions your existence and complete purpose on earth? A curve ball that rattles your thoughts and dreams, and you dare not sleep a wink or blink an eye, for the feelings you now possess inside of you are so overwhelming and surreal that you begin to question the possibility of actually finding someone and actually feeling completely whole and satisfied… and then the final curve ball hits you… you realize you come from two different worlds that encompasses a different lifestyle, race and different truths about ourselves. But the beauty of it is that somehow, somewhere between earth and the rest of the universe, we found a grounding, peace, acceptance and a connection so powerful, we could be the cause should the earth stop rotating for a day haha.

Where society binds people, or conforms people into certain structures and belief systems, we stemmed above these powerful regimes… once upon a time it was just a man invention, now it suffocates us to obey and follow this new world order accordingly, in order to keep the earth’s balance intact. Two words… screw that!!!

In the past two weeks my world unfolded and literally split me into two halves. The first halve I found myself stepping  into was a much bigger world with endless possibilities, where days could go on for days and people would be people, and you could just be who you are, no matter your race, nationality or life skills, a place where judgement is handed over to GOD, a place where an inner child of happiness evolves within you.

During that halve of my existence, I experienced the most overwhelming and insanely happy easy living, a living that made you feel light as a feather and radiant as the sunlight. There was no room for fake people, just this immense zest of energy to live life like a boss every day.

Then as the second halve of my world dawned upon me, and I immediately picked up on the density of the area, as well as the heaviness of the people… that’s when a life called a" small reality" kicked back in. And few hours before my departure, I became tense and anxious and for a split second I wished I could relive the first half of my world now and I didn’t have to depart or venture into my depressing second half.

Now I lay in my bed wondering if this was all a dream that was meant to be lived and enjoyed as a once in a lifetime experience, or was there actually a guarantee to this life where endless possibilities and happiness does exist and its literally waiting for change and opportunity to come my way, grab it and reap the fruits of a future that’s worth looking forward to…?

How did I come across this life… I bumped into a person greater than he makes himself out to be – and the funny part of it, is that he didn’t have to do anything at all, he just had to be present and the rest duplicated and multiplied by itself into an endless bliss of greatness, happiness and endless journeys. All it took was two forceful balls of energy that shot up and burst into millions of shooting stars.  A space that literally allows your skin to breath and hair to flare as they please, smiles that stemmed from cheeks outwardly zinging into your earlobes hahah. One could call it the happy bubble where you just be who are and not give two hoots about what the rest of the world thinks of you.

With the full moon above us and a galaxy of stars glittering around as our audience, we paraded down the streets, from Sea point to Greenpoint, while being the entertainment to a hooker who needed a smile for the night. We stunned ourselves to say the least... not much time spent together, but enough to wonder what our energies combined were capable of...

We came from two different worlds and two different places, and shared two races, but in soul we resided and infused into one world of happy spaces.

No matter how much society tries to bind certain cultures and races together, always remember you are you, and societies weren’t invented to remain intact and obeyed, therefore break away if the society you conformed to does not represent your meaning and lifestyle to living life to your full potential.

I thought society had trapped me for life, but after my weekends experience... well let’s just say I’ve placed myself amongst the stars where society and life’s regimes will never find me heheh.

That is all for today… hope I could inspire many souls :)

Until next time.. Ciao bella J

Mish.Dish

Love wasn't meant to be understood...

Today I find my head squirming around in wonder and confusion. So many times I find myself loving and falling in love, so quickly and when it all has to come to a halt, be it reality check, back to reality, work, life… whatever - I just find it so hard to get my head around just accepting and letting things be what they must be.

I think too many times in my life experiences, I’ve allowed environments of conformity to evaluate my situation and take care of my circumstances, but never was I able to stand firm in what I truly believe and therefore I’ve been trampled over too many times.

As time went by, slowly I retracted myself from these environments, took two steps back, and had to re-evaluate my life and how I fit into this whole equation. Then I came to the realization that one needs to trust and believe in oneself more often than usual, and even if it means taking a risk that could scar your heart for life, know that at the end of the road, a lesson is always learnt.

The past 3 weeks I have found myself battling and trying to understand how most busy working people don’t see the need to experience mad love or take a leap of faith, or try and balance out work, love and social time. The point of frustration had finally emerged inside of me and I kind of (okay, maybe a lot) just rippled off my views and feelings… and… well…. The response wasn’t as inviting or responsive at all, which lead me going back to the drawing board once again… in confusion…. Siggghhh :(

My conclusion… love isn’t meant to be understood, but to realize that it does exist and that it is there to indulge and enjoy. That said, never compare working circumstances to love, because work can be defined and reasoned with, whereas love cannot be defined because we all prescribe to our own vision, definitions and belief as to what love means or constitutes within our lives.

Remember... Love is an art created by You!

I guess when you decide to love, a risk always awaits you, and as much as we fear many things in life, I honestly believe most of our fear breeds within and around love. A fear to get hurt, as fear to allow yourself to be and feel something beautiful that makes your heart palpitate and you wish that this feeling never dies out.

Well, know that love is out there. Sometimes we’ll miss that opportunity and always wonder, sometimes we’ll settle for that comfortable love that will never break the heart, sometimes we’ll never go there for the sake of playing it safe and maybe one time – we will experience that great love once livid and never let go :)

Hope I could shed some love and light today :)

Until next time… Ciao Bella

Mish.dish

Fantasy or Reality - How does this work?

There comes a time in our lives where we are faced with decisions that revolve around the fantasy and reality of finding love and happiness. We live, we breath and we thrive on the notion that if this (finding the one and true happiness) is possible in anyway, we would commit ourselves to making this dream/fantasy become are reality - Question is - How do you know if it was all just a fantasy, or a reality when it comes to meeting that 'special' someone? This is what I think...

Fantasy - It is something you never in your mind could have imagined to happen - and it happens. Meeting that 'special' someone and knowing that this person might be from another country, in your head the feeling is so surreal that one feels that this could really work out! That immense uncontrollably happy feeling when you see this someone until you say goodbye. How much do you bet that this encounter will turn out to only be a fantasy... I'm not sure myself.

Reality - Then eventually when they say their final goodbyes, knowing that you might never see them again, yet there's that ' Hope' that stems from within hoping that this would work out... But then reality comes along and kicks your sexy ass and you realise that this is all just a fantasy and that its never going to become a reality?

Words are all said in just, but only actions truly speak out loud. Therefore its one thing to say I'm coming over and another to actually doing it!

Many of us live in the hole of fear of getting hurt and forget to live a little. Its just sometimes things pan out too good to be true that when one reaches the crossroads of fantasy and reality - what do you choose?

In my reality - Where I want to be and the person I want to be with lives a gazillion miles away. I could go but that would only entitle me to go for one week and the cost is basically the only thing that stands in my pathway right now. If I do go - I'll be flat broke when I come back - so in other words do I go for that 'special someone' or do I go because I want to go? Its a bit of both actually, but I don't know how he feels at this stage and for me to just book a ticket, get a visa and chuck over is a whole different ball game in one! As much as you want this to work, it has to come from both sides in my opinion.

So what now - I'm going to wait and be patient - I believe that all answers comes to those who wait... well I'm hoping soon though... lol

Until Next Time

Ciao Bella

Mish.Dish

2012 - Blossom from within.. :)

A brand new year has dawned upon us... moreover the year that means the end to many... the big 2012!!! Lets not think too much about this mythological fact and allow 2012 to open up new avenues of ventures and a fourth coming future.

Reflection upon 2011.. Its was a tough year for many of us in terms of relationships, working partnerships, changing jobs, seeking stability, figuring out your life path and where to from here, but most importantly figuring out you as the individual and that what you feel inside and project outwardly, which (depending on the signals you put out to the universe) almost instantaneously pops right back onto lap - so its either happiness, or unhappiness.

Many people have said to have had a crappy festive and have lost loved ones, yes it tough and hard, but you are much stronger than you sometimes realise. It all boils down to that inner self seeking healing, but not always able to decipher the right path for oneself. And yes its the most damn freaking frustrating full-time job figuring that one out... but hey that's why we are here on earth - to figure it all out!

Some words of wisdom... project what the self really wants to project and not what other influences allow the self to project. If its anything positive - project it immediately - it shouldn't be false or forced, just needs to come naturally. If its anything negative - spit it out and far away from your aura and your personal space through deep breathing through the nose and outwardly exhale through the mouth. Do it until you feel a bit lighter and the tension or any frustration has been released from your body.

This is your life, so live it lightly and happily - and you don't have to tell people you are happy, they just automatically pick up on those sunny happy vibes and glowing energies that surround you!

It's your year to shine and blossom into a brand new beautiful flower...

Have a super awesome 2012 and never have high expectations - just go with it and you'll be surprised how no expectation meets the expectation of the self.

Ciao Bella :)

Mish.Dish

To new Beginnings...

As tough as it may seem at times, new beginnings is always a positive way to turn your life around and make it worth every second.

From a 4 year long term relationship, to broken relationships, to long distant non - workable relationships, I find myself in limbo land wondering where to from here on out...?

It's weird how we tend to give too much of ourselves so quickly, hoping its what was set out or meant to be for us, only to realise half way through the journey that it was all just a hoax. That's probably the biggest part of the heartache and one of many bigger life lessons learnt in the process.

The question that always remains after the big term 'ITS OVER NOW' is where to from here. Your mind is puzzled and all fuzzled with decisions spiralling out of control like a roller coaster ride that has no ending. You think to yourself what is it that went wrong, when in actual fact it was never you to begin with.

To simplify: It's like a preacher that comes to you and bestows all these blessings and wishes upon your life promising life to be perfect and full of prospering growth - but in the end not even half of these wishes are fulfilled, because they just wanted to get you into a space of where they were, and live their dream of holliness. That is their dream, and might not be yours at all, but they make you think it's what's best for you at the time...

I'm not saying its wrong, but its always the way in which you bestow or say things to another person that allows you to think everything will be fine and perfect and happy ever after, and forget we are all individuals and all have a different perspective of life.

Same with men - they sculpt a picture that looks all happy and happy and more happiness, only to find out in the end it was in their best interest for you to assist them in fulfilling their dream, and you were just a prop at the time to satisfy that fantasy or dream.

U think you never ever learn, but you do, even it takes you ten times to make the same mistake, you do realise it eventually and become the better and stronger person. Take the good and bad that came from your experience.

Today I begin a new chapter in my life, and reflect upon 2011 and what it has taught me about living my life for me, and not for the next person. Sounds selfish hey.. I know but in this day and age, you and only you hold the keys to your complete happiness. If you happy from within, you don't need anyone else to please you. A companion is always wonderful, but remember he can't always make you happy, but ultimately its up to you to discover that inner core of happiness that shines from within!

I hope this made you feel stronger.

Have an awesome Monday my sisters and misters,

Ciao Bella :)

Mish Dish

I'm taking my heart back... and I'm not looking back!

Oh love, love, love... where for art though love? Maybe a lover?... or and In-Lover?... Nope, just where is my love!

Heart, heart, heart... where for art my heart?... Maybe stolen, beaten, bruised and unattended to?... Spot on!

Well, today I've decided to take my heart back and hold it close to me for a while, before I allow my heart to be stolen, and taken advantage of again. Its taken me a long while to realize this, but like with everything else, this was a major WAKEY WAKEY CALL FOR ME!

LESSON LEARNED:Its OK to fall in love with someone, just remember not to set your heart on him/her because they might just be sent you for a certain time period in your life, and then you have to let them go. I know, its sounds very cruel and heartless to at one glance, fall in love, experience feelings and adventures you've never experienced, and all of sudden you just have to give it all up.

Well trust me, it happens... just ask me! I fell in love, met a guy that complemented me if every sense, so much, he stole my heart, from top to bottom, left to right, up and down lol. He made me smile, laugh again and just re-discover my inner core of who I was again.

It was as if an angel was sent to me and fulfilled all my wishes that I once upon a time wished for in my life.

As soon as he had fulfilled his purpose, he was snatched away from in a blink of an eye, like flashlight. The funny thing is, as much as we tried to work on it, it would just back-fire every time, one backlog and hiccup, one after the other.

The sad realization is that in the end, I was left to fend on my own, with no heart :(
After the realization, I knew I had to let go... and I have, and with that I got my heart back as well.

If you shared a similar experience, I hope this will help you to move on and reclaim your heart.. after all --- its your dam HEART!

Have an awesome Weekend!

Until next time
Chow Bella :)