Do you think females with straight hair are more attractive than females with Curly Hair??

I have this disturbia with males and females, especially in Cape Town. At least 80% of females go straight instead of curly or natural... why is that? In the Glamour magazine, they say you are more likely to get a date with a guy if your hair is straight and long over having curly hair.

I mean I know a lot of us coloured chicks have curly hair, but we out ourselves through the whole relaxer, straightening, perm and even weaving our hair phase of our lives... why? For some I know they do it because it makes there hair more thin and manageable to handle. I get that, but common guys, who are we truly kidding. You are also doing it for obvious reasons like guys who prefer dating girlfriends with straight hair.I have witnessed this time and time and time again, how guys suss the girls out in clubs, and believe you me, if you ain't got that flair or swing in your hair, you ain't the type for them.

I speak to guys almost everyday, and the girls they date have straight hair or putting on chemicals to make it look straight. They agree that females that have straight and long hair are extremely sexy.. what crap is that? They even went as far as saying that they don't want there offspring to have 'funny hair'. WTF? What happened to the times when you would just go natural and embrace what your genes and family gave you?

In my opinion, they'll be dating bimbos for all you know just so that they can parade to everyone 'oh chick out my chicks hair, its sleek and sexy'... like whatever!!!

This is how society the world are all influencing our thinking patterns especially our appearances. Even I sometimes don't want to wet my hair purely because I'm not comfortable have my hair curly, moms always telling me 'come do your hair, you look terrible with that wet hair'. And as always I would listen to her. Since then I just can't get myself to be me because I'm too worried what the next person might say. I think straight hair is so common and if we could all just be natural and go out and embrace one another individuality, the world would be a better place.

Anyway I would really like to know what your views are?

Until next time... Chow Bella :)

The sound of one hand clapping!

How could you begin to describe the feeling if you have not experienced it? I mean the if you do have two hands you'll use both of them to clap unless you are occupied and may only use your one hand.

TO me the sound of one hand clapping is like someone trying to speak to you but you are not hearing them. The voice is there but the impact or the presence of that one person just seems to die out into a crowd of people. The clap is merely slow, and soundless, and if there is sound, it is minimal.

The sound of one hand clapping is sad to me. It's like if you had the choice what you choose... one hand to two hands. I don't think anyone would only want one hand. If I had to be that person, I would be frustrated and feel like an outcast to the world.

People might think how can you say that, but its just the way life and the people of the world stereotype and discriminate against people who do not look the same because of what we are taught and how the world influences of thinking and frame of reference.

The sound of one hand clapping is like having an argument with someone where we tend to agree to disagree. Just in some cases people can't seem to reach any common ground which leaves you all alone. It's the same with forming groupies of friends and soon realizing that nobody really cares about you, you are just there to support others in need and be a support group when nobody else cares. You find yourself isolated really, not being able to express yourself openly and fluently.

The sound of one hand clapping... What do you think it means?

Until next time.. chow bela :)

This is to you where ever you are ...

Why do I keep seeing you, why won’t you disappear?
I’ve gotten over you a long time, yet here you are always visiting me in my dreams
Why is that?
It’s like all you ever do in my dream is watch me
You never speak to me, yet you are always just staring at me from a distance
If you checking if I’m alright don’t be because I am just fine
In honesty, yes I admit, I liked you
I adored you, we had great chemistry
Until you assumed I was like most females that would give into you
But I was a die hard, couldn’t you see it in my eyes
I knew what I wanted and so did yoy
I guess that’s where we differed in that sense
That was when you crushed me by assuming I was this and that
I won’t lie; it still hurts to this day
But who am I kidding; you still stuck in my head
The only question left to say: How are you doing?
I’ve tried to set you free, yet my unconscious still has you stored away

How do I get you out of my mind?
How do I get you out of my dreams?
Why does my head play these silly games with you?
It’s like I want to prove myself to you, yet my pride always steps in to protect me
If had one wish I’d probably wish to see you one more time just to figure myself out.
If not, then am I still hung up over you in a weird mysterious way?

Is being in a relationship people healthier than Single people?

This is a question that is often discussed between people of different genders whether it is healthier to be single or married.
I think that it's different for each and every individual because we all have different experiences be single or being married. Yes there might be things that are common in people being married and people who are single, but to try is estimate whether it is being married is better than single changes all the time depending on our cultures, race and denomination.

In my experience I really enjoyed my single-hood life because I was able to do what I want, when I want and not having to consider anyone Else's feelings other than my own. But the reality is is that I always felt a sense of loneliness and longed for a partner where I could share experiences and my deeper inner thoughts. It frustrated me that when I would go out, my Friends would always be kooked up at home with their boyfriends and I would think to myself ... 'how boring and uninteresting'.

Today, I have been dating a guy for 3years and 2 months... I know like 'wtf'? Don't worry I constantly ask myself how did I manage 3 years, like what changed from then to now? Its simple, I grew as a person and was ready to take that leap into being in a relationship. I won't lie but being with someone, you learn a lot about yourself and what faults you as a person have and that everyone's not perfect. I've cried a lot and laughed a lot, we had our up and downs and its quite a challenge and if you're not tough enough to accept that we all have out differences and we should try to make peace and not try and change them into people you want them to be, but into people they want to be one day.

Being in a relationship is a type of a trial and error phase where you try out different things, but also try to stay true to yourself. you'll never realise that if you are not a strong person from within, how you as an individual can get sucked into a system of control, and you don't realise it immediately but in time you will see and feel the ripple effects of that system, people trying to control you. Its like men that seek control over females because they've always had control until recently us as females are speaking out. But this is another topic on its own.

Bottom line, my advice to single people is don't be rushed into anything until you're sure, because once you commit to someone, automatically you create a tie with that individual and when you break up, it's hard to break that tie with a person and most of us end up going back to the person because you have not realised or discovered your inner strength and ability to walk away and break that tie.

And if you are in a relationship, try and maintain a balance for yourself, allowing yourself to have me time. time to mingle with your friends and family.

In essence, I think BALANCE is key to being who you need to be.

Until next time... xoxo

NOt all who wonder are lost!

I think people who have dreams, have a vision, a future, the only thing standing in that person’s way is ones perseverance. The world we live is beautiful, yet cruel and vindictive. One minute you on the right path, the next temptation drags you into a nasty situation and you back to square one. If you dream a lot of the way you set your life out to be, you should go for it 100% in it. No looking back, because its when you look back you either feel sorry for other people, decide to hold back on your dreams, and what happens… you become sucked into old and bad hobbits of procrastination as you will always wonder ‘is this the right time for me to go’ or ‘will I ever experience life the way I want it to?’. This is the point where all dreams become lost and float around waiting for you to make up your mind.




I’m sure we as students feel this way as well. We back and forth battling what it is we want in life. On the one hand you have your future perfectly planned out and structured, yet that bit of confidence in you still remains dormant within you.

Not long ago I applied for a job. I was all confident of myself until I arrived at the appointment as saw all the competition I was up against. Immediately, my shoulders began to shudder, and my legs went into this jolt and my palms started sweating. Then I sat down and waited patiently for my turn. At this point the weirdest things went through my mind like ‘maybe I should skip this for another time’ or ‘how could I possibly make it through this interview’.



Outcome, when I went it was my turn; I could hardly say a word. I pumped negative thoughts into my brain and those negative thoughts manifested in my interview… and I didn’t get the job.

Now that I look back at the experience, I now know what its like to actually see the competition you’re up against. It was learning curve for me to practice and work on my insecurities I have within myself. I could’ve just decided to swamped myself and blame myself for being stupid and always living in the past, or I could take the experience and use it to my advantage next time.


By dreaming big you need to persevere and continue until you’ve reached your goal in life.

Until next time… chow Bela ☺

How do you step from the top of a 100 Foot Pole

‘Why did you lie to me? You said you were just going out with your friends, nothing dangerous. I always liked your sense of adventure, but this, this extreme, why did you do it? How did you manage to step from the top of a 100 foot pole knowing there was know net at the end of the fall. What were you thinking…I’m so confused right now? Nothing adds up really. Then today your friend Billy drops off a letter that is from you. All he said was ‘He wanted me to give this to you because he really always loved only you!’ What the hell does that mean?’

‘Why won’t you wake up so that we can sort this out? I been sitting by your side since Monday but you just won’t wake up. WAKE UP WAKE UP DAMMIT!!! I never opened the letter yet because I’m too afraid of what it may say. Did you have an affair, or did you kill someone, why couldn’t you just speak to me, we always had a good understanding?”

‘Shit… okay, I’m going to read your letter to me, this way I don’t feel that alone. Here goes… “Hey my love, how are you doing my precious Lily. I hope you put on your best smile right now for what I’m about to tell you. I want you to meet me at the on the farm where we first met, next to the wind mill. I’ll be waiting for you there, just a bit higher than expected, it ‘s going to be a night you’ll not forget.” I don’t understand… it’s not like we never celebrated your 3 year anniversary already, because we did that last week. You continued by saying “I need you to wear the purple silk dress I bought you this week.” But I never received anything… is some kind of a sick joke where you going to wake up and say surprise? All you had left to say was “meet me at 7 pm my love because you never know if this may be our last night together”. What did you want to tell me that night Kyle?’

‘Billy, what is going on, what did you guys do Monday night and why is Kyle not waking up?’ Billy says, “Tara, he was going to propose to you on top of a hundred food pole with written lights saying ‘marry me’”. Oh my word, but why did he do such a dangerous thing? Billy continued, “ because that’s how much Kyle Loved you Tara, he would practically do anything for you, even if it meant creating a rainbow of lights… you remember you said you wished for pretty lights in the middle of know where so that you two could dance the night way? He set it all up and as his best friend I know he would want you to see it.” But he’s going to wake up soon so then he can show me can’t he Billy?

Billy shattered to break the news to her once again … “Tara he’s not going to wake up, he’s scull cracked because landed head first.” The life support is the only thing that’s keeping him alive right now.” Shut Up, shut up, he was just the other day so healthy and now he can barely say a word to me…

Kyle never woke up again and Tara never got over him, but she always visits the 100 foot pole, where she knows Kyle is watching over her and waiting for her, to meet one day.